So, you're getting ready for the Playa: planning that shade structure, making sure your tent is still able to handle another year, etc. Why not make sure your tools are ready? Nothing's more shocking to fresh yellow kevlar than blazing sun and alkali salt flats. Your tools need to be "playafied".

That's right, for a nominal fee, we'll store your tools in an overstuffed trunk for 17 hours, handle them with grubby (sometimes bloody) hands, Leave them out in the sun for a day, spill water or rum or both on them, dry them out, and coat them completely in Diatomaceous Earth. [DE is the closest thing to Playa Dust you can buy, and it works great on Bed Bugs!]

But Wait! Not only that, but 1 in 4 playafied tools will get "the full hippie" treatment. They'll be wrapped in nylon to simulate a tent, then peed on. After drying out, they'll be "borrowed" and burned several times before they're left forgotten, where another hippie will store them in a sweat soaked backpack until they're ready to ship.

We guarantee that any item put through the playafying process will be absolutely able to handle anything the Playa can throw at them. Works great for Festival items too!

Get your tools Playafied NOW!

"Every year, dozens of tools end up useless, broken or 'missing' after festival season and, of course, The Burn. I'm a multi-year veteran of Black Rock, and it's taken this long to perfect a process that protects items, particularly fire tools, from hazards of week long desert parties. Please, if you're going to take your tools anywhere they might come in contact with Play Dust, festival sweat or strange fire tools, protect them with the playafication process now." -Tedward

available on new tools only and can only be shipped to locations that exist when the user is not tripping their brains out.